Son of Hermes: Life With a Devil
by Akira Himura
Summary: What defines a child of Hermes? A thief? A trickster? A gun toting worker for hire that got lost and was pulled into a three way power struggle that he wants nothing but everything to do with? Random Crossovers will probably happen. Crack!Fic-ish
1. An Introduction of Sorts

**Maybe You've noticed the mass takedown of my stuff, well, perfectly good explanation for that... at the bottom. Anyway, this is basically a rewrite of Son of Hermes, Life With a Devil. Hope it's better.**

 **Input disclaimer of me not owning Percy Jackson of Highschool DxD.**

A dark forest.

This is where a large man in a torn hooded cloak was hiding behind a large tree, hoping beyond hope to whatever god would listen and take pity upon his soul. The tree blocked the moonlight of the full moon above the covered man, shrouding him into further darkness. The man pulled down his hood, revealing piercing yellow eyes and a muzzled face covered in fur.

'BANG'

"HOOOWWWLLL!"

A loud gunshot followed by a pained howl brought the hiding man back to reality.

"Damn, he got Rupert." The lycan muttered to himself, looking around the tree into the darkness of the forest. Seeing nothing but trees, trees, and more trees, he sighed to himself, reaching into a pocket of the torn cloak with a clawed hand. He pulled out a large egg that was a light brown with red speckles coating the shell. The lycan sighed, seeing as the egg was unharmed, and put the roughly baseball sized baby bird incubator back into his cloak.

"Now, just to-" The lycan turned from behind the tree but stopped when his head pressed itself against a not so mystery object.

"Now just to what?" A male voice quipped next to the tree. "Finish your sentences when you're talking, isn't that pol-I-te? … Damn it." The boy groaned to himself when his voice broke. The pressure on the lycan's temple lightened slightly and that was all the lycan needed to take an opportunity.

The cloaked monster ducked whilst swinging his clawed hand at the assailant, hoping to have the natural weapons made of keratin dig into the boy's side and give him a chance to put as much distance as possible between himself and the aggravator.

The lycan's claw missed however, as the boy stepped back from the wolf man. Wind rustled the trees, allowing thin rays of moonlight to shine through and illuminate a green hoodie and blond hair.

"Now that's not very nice." The blond boy said, taking another step back and lifted his right arm at the cloaked wolf man. The lycan was already gone from his position, running between the trees at breakneck speeds. The blond groaned at the retreating lycan.

"You just like to make this difficult for me, don't you?" The boy raised his arm up again, the moonlight that was piercing through the canopy showed a light blue semi-automatic handgun aimed at the back of the lycan's head. The lycan was already roughly eight meters away, the boy made a clicking noise with his mouth, and moved his aim to in front of and a little down of the running wolf man.

'BANG'

The piece of metal flew through the air, miraculously missing all of the local flora and piercing through the back of the lycan's knee, shattering the kneecap and sending the retreating wolf man tumbling to the ground.

The walk to the downed lycan was a short one, the path he had taken not yet into the bushes that were only a few feet in front of the downed wolf man hybrid, and the boy pulled something out of his pocket. The blonde tossed the stolen egg up into the air, before catching it and tossing it up again, repeating the actions.

"Stealing a Phoenix egg isn't a very easy thing to do yah know?" The boy looked down at the groaning lycan, who was attempting to stand.

'BANG'

Another bullet ran through the knee of the lycan's other leg, forcing the cloaked monster to stay on the ground.

"My employer gave me three jobs today," The blonde said, acting as if he didn't just shoot a leg. "Job #1 was to get the egg." Another toss of the egg. "Job #2, was to figure out why you guys stole the egg." He glanced at the downed lycan. "So start yapping." All the boy got in reply was a low growl and a bark.

"...Difficult way it is then." The boy muttered to himself. Two more shots rang out and blood started to pool from the pierced kidneys. "Teeeell meeeeee." The boy drawled out.

"Never…" The lycan gave a pained groan.

"Eh, fine." The blonde shrugged. "I'll just ask again when you're ready." The lycan looks up in confusion and fear before the blond boy grabbed the scruff of the wolf man's neck and proceeded to drag the bleeding body out of the forest.

"AAHHH!" The lycan screamed and he was held over a ridge of a very deep, and very dark hole.

"Come on, you're ready now, yeah?" The boy asked, smile forever prominent. He was standing on a bright red pick up truck that was dangerously close to the edge. The hole itself was located in the center of an abandoned warehouse where the ceiling rose more than thirty feet into the air, and could fit two or more cargo planes inside.

"No." The lycan grunted out, desperately trying to get his legs to heal faster. The slow regeneration process was taking longer than it usually did, almost like the healing was actively fought against by some outside force.

The blonde boy gave an expressionless look at the kicking wolf man, and shook the lycan side to side over the hole.

"Last chance. Spill it or die." The blonde gave one last shake, before stopping and staring at the back of the lycan's head, as if the constant pressure of his gaze would make the wolf man crack.

"Never!" The lycan gave a defiant howl while the boy gave a disappointed look and a sigh.

"Well, job #3 WAS to get rid of all of you…" He trailed off, his left hand releasing his grip on the flailing lycan. "Have a nice trip!" He called from the edge of the pit. "See yah next fall!" The lycan just continued screaming as it disappeared into darkness.

"Well," The blonde boy said, patting off the nonexistent dust on his green hoodie. "That was fun. Better go tell that Phoenix family that I got their egg back." The boy smiled, pulling out the egg again from his hoodie and tossed it up into the air.

"Thank You."

"SQUAK!"

"Hey, no problem." The blonde boy waved off the happy chirping of small bright red and slightly on fire birds running around his feet along with the thanks he got from the birds mother. "Least I could do."

"Hmm." The mother, another bird but reaching up to about the boy's knees and had her wings made completely out of fire, turned her head to reach the lower ends of her back, as most birds can do, and pulled out a bright red feather with a sharp pull and slight wince. The large bird then hopped up onto the blond boy's shoulder, and placed the pulled out feather into the blonde's hair. The Phoenix quickly tied a few strands of blonde hair around the quill of the feather, securing it into place. Another 'Hmm' and the large bird hopped down from the boy's shoulder.

"Thank you, once again." The Phoenix did the best bow she could do as a bird. "I'll be sure to give a good review to the Athenian." The blonde gave a smile along with a thumbs up.

"Remember, next service is half off. Thank you for being part of the Sam Allen quest fund." The blonde boy, now dubbed Sam, chuckled and nudged the small birds at his feet towards their mother.

"Sorry little guys, I've got other things I need to do." A collective bird version of a groan came from the baby fire birds as Sam backed away and climbed onto the edge of a very large tree. Sam glanced back at the family of Phoenix's and gave a smile and a wave in goodbye before jumping off of the edge of the nest and into the air at roughly 350 feet in the air.

' _Here's to hoping that Zeus doesn't shoot me down.'_ Sam thought as he free falls through the open air. ' _Again.'_

 **So reasoning for this rewrite along with the mass takedown. I went back and reread my older works, stuff from two to three years ago, and realized something. I was absolute shit at writing, or at least worse at it than I am now, so I decided to take my stuff down and rewrite most of it.**

 **Anyway, did I do good? Bad? Mediocre? Was the original better than this?**


	2. Teleporting Caves

**Well, sorry for the long wait. I lose my will to write sometimes.**

This isn't the same cave I fell asleep in, is it?" Blue eyes stared lazily at the darkness of what he assumed was a cave ceiling. That, or someplace underground really… Sam was really hoping he wasn't buried alive in a casket or something.

The blonde reached into his pocket and pulled out a 1967 Zippo lighter and lit a small red flame, not really illuminating anything, so that disproved the buried alive theory, but it calmed Sam's nerves. Staring at the fire that is.

All those pretty colors.

Shiney colo-

"Ow, FUCK! I did it AGAIN!" Sam yelled to himself, closing the lighter and shaking off his hand to get rid of the pain from the small burn. The blonde stood up and took glances around the room, cave, place, blinking in hopes to somehow adjust to the lack of light.

A shaky step forward sent the blonde over an edge and lose his footing on the now steep slanting ground, tumbling head over heels through further darkness.

'I don't know if this is karma or Murphey's law, but fuck BOTH OF 'EM!' Sam both screamed both externally and internally, his side then proceeding to hit a rock and bouncing off the steep drop off and slammed through an adjacent wall.

Bright light filled Sam's vision, the darkness suddenly disappearing, as contradictory as that sounds, and opened up into a large cave lit up by candles that gave the room a 'dark and gothic' sort of vibe.

'Kinda hope I didn't stumble into something I'm not supposed to see.' The blond sat up and was currently looking around the room for an exit. A large stone table was situated in the center of the room, four large candles stationed at the four corners of the slab. Hanging about three feet above the stone table, hanging from a long chain, was a ornate golden cross with large green gemstones.

The cross itself probably held some spiritual purpose, was irreplaceable, and really expensive.

'Shiney...'

Not that it really mattered much to the son of Hermes.

The golden cross was swiftly removed from its confinement on the chain and was inspected closely by blue eyes. Soft chuckling escaped a grinning mouth, thieving hands flipping the golden item, inspecting the cross closely.

'Man,' Sam thought. ' The last time I found something this shiny was when I raided one of dad's UPS trucks.'

Light shuffling from behind him broke Sam out of his admiration of the shiny object.

"...st down here." A feminine voice came from a corridor behind the blond demigod that he hadn't noticed before. "We got it from the transport truck a few days ago. No traces, no mess, and the cheep plastic version should keep them from noticing that it's missing."

"Good." A deeper voice said, this one distinctly male. "With the cross and the-" The two figures had reached the opening of the tunnel, but had stopped and stared in slight bewilderment at the blond demigod.

The woman was standing on the left, had short, light pink hair and... eyes. Sam couldn't really see the little details in the dark room. She had on one of those Chinese dresses that didn't have any sleeves and had an upside down heart cut out right above her cleavage. The most noticeable thing however, were the two spiraling ram horns sticking out of the side of her head.

The man to her left, Sam's right, had dark silvery grey hair and a dark blue trench coat. The coat actually made the man a bit more difficult to see in the darkness.

Sam's blue eyes stared at the tensing people in the threshold, the eyes of the demigod not showing much emotion at the intruders.

They all stood there for a few more moments of silence, before...

"MEEP MEEP!" Sam yelled, tucking and rolling off the stone table, away from the now acting person's at the other side of the room. Thankfully for Sam, the hole that he... created... was still there and functioning for a successful get away.

The cave suddenly disappeared, replacing itself with a grassy hill that was dotted with trees. Sam rolled out of the hole and landed on his back, staring up at the night sky. Blue eyes slowly narrowed at the dark blue sky. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

"Where are all the stars?" The blond muttered to himself, staring up at a relatively blank night sky. Sure there were a few stars here and there, but most of the light from the big balls of plasma out in the solar system was almost nonexistent.

Shaking his head and deciding to leave that line of pondering for later, the blonde sat up and looked at his surroundings. There were a few trees dotted around the hill, a forest edge off the the far right of Sam's vision. Going up the hill was an overgrown stone path, weeds having taken over the man made path which led to a run down church at the top.

"...Well," Sam stood and wiped off his pants. "Good enough a place as any to stay for the night before finding out where I am." And made his way to the abandoned church on the hill. Tep. Tep. Tep. His combat boots made noise on the stone on his way up the path, eyes set firmly on the run down building.

Reaching the building, the wooden doors were actually a lot lighter than Sam thought they would be, but they did, in fact, make a squeaking noise on their rusted hinges. A squeaking noise which gained the attention of every single living being in the 'abandoned' church.

Peering inside the church, Sam was met face to face with an entire chapel filled with people that had white robes on, though most also had on hoods.

"Oh." The blond said, eyes gazing over the room. "Didn't know somebody was already-" He was cut off when he ducked from a loud BANG and a bullet whizzed overhead. Sam tucked and rolled to the right of the door, dodging a few more bullets, and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. He quickly pulled out two IMBEL Pistolas from the green jacket.

He closed his eyes and breathed in, the gunfire slowing down but the sound of clothes shuffling indicated people moving.

"Let's do this." Sam said to himself, steeping his nerves, and turned back into the threshold of the door as the first white robed man started to leave the church.

BANG

The robed man had only started to look down as the bullet left the barrel and traveled through his jaw, into his brain. The now dead man tumbled backwards into the person behind him, knocking him off balance. The blond demigod stood up and aimed, this time, with his right hand.

BANGBANGBANG

Three more shots and three more dead on the robes side as Sam ducked to the right to avoid more gunfire. Rolling to behind a pew, the blond made a few more shots at the people that were next to the door. BANGBANGBANGBANG. A few more bodies slumped to the floor, blood trickling down various parts of their heads.

Gunshots and smoke filled the room as more of the robed people shot at the pew Sam was hiding behind, ripping apart the weak wooden defence that was in place. The blond ducked and rolled to the side once again, dodging more bullets and getting away from the line of fire. Leaning over the side of the pew, BANGBANGBANG, and Sam took out a few more of the robed people that were making attempts on his life.

"HAA!" Came a yell from above the blond demigod, drawing his attention to a robed man with a glowing sword that was swung down with a SWISH but a BANG bullet smashed through the spectral sword and into the robed man, sending him back over the pew and crashing into the wooden flooring.

Sam rushed over the the other side of the pew, dodging bullets and taking BANGBANG two more shots that smashed into a forehead and another bullet, causing the bullets to ricochet into a man's leg and through another robed man's ear, ripping the cartilage off their face.

Sam blocked another sword strike with his gun, bringing the other hand up the the opposing man's heart. BANG. 'Another one down.'

BANGBANGBANGBANGCLICKCLICKCLICK

'Damn it.' Sam swore, duck down behind another pew to reload. He grabbed the top of his right handed gun, and pulled back. A loud clicking noise was accompanied by a low glow on the side of the handle, followed by a few soft clicks. The blond demigod quickly repeated the process with his left handed gun.

"Gah!" Sam gasped out, pain running up his leg from where a lucky shot got in from the robed men. He grit his teeth in anger, bit back the pain, and launched another wave of well placed headshots against the robed men.

Currently ducked behind a new pew, Sam was applying pressure on where the bullet grazed his thigh, not much damage but still enough to cause sufficient amounts of pain. The blonde had taken out most of the people in the room by now, bodies and blood all over the wooden floor. A few pews had been torn up by gunfire while a bunch of the 'light sabres', as Sam liked to call them, were strewn over the floor.

'Right.' Sam reloaded his right gun again. 'Just a few more left. Hopefully after this I can get first ai-' Sam's thoughts were suddenly cut off when the ground next to him blew up, sending the blond tumbling across the floor.

"So, this is what all the commotion is about." A voice said from further back in the church, this one high, like a child, but full of annoyance. "A little hu-. A human, your having so much trouble with a human?"

"But Fallen Angel-sama!" Another voice, probably from the ground of robed men called in a language in which Sam do not know. "He-"

"No excuses!" The child voice said again, this time with more anger. "You're all rogue exorcists aren't you!? You're trained to be better than a human!"

"Well, Miltelt." A new voice, this one masculine. "We shouldn't be squabbling, but greeting our guest." That turned sadistic... well then. Sam peaked over the edge of the pew and his eyes widened at what he saw.

They were harpies... no, they didn't have the talons and were DEFINITELY not ugly... they had WINGS though. What species had wings but wasn't a harpy!?

There were four of the harpy-not-harpy people three women and one man. The little one was a blond, just like Sam, and was wearing some sort of, maid costume? Sam wasn't sure, there were frills. The woman next to her was a lot taller and had long dark hair and a trench coat that showed a lot of cleavage of her huge boobs. On the other side of the little girl was the man wearing a long coat and fedora. And finally, to the far left, was a woman with long black hair and very large breasts. The only reason that fact was brought up was, well, she was wearing what could be attested to be a leather bondage outfit.

Oh, also they all had black wings and were floating above the robed people.

'Yah know, how can they fly without flapping their wings?'

"There."

Screw it, he'll deal with it later.

 **Some of my best work comes when I'm half asleep at 3 am, some of my worst works come when I'm half asleep at 3 am. Also, I'm shit at personalities.**


	3. Church MASSacre

**ok, so serious Akira is serious. I need help. I can't write personalities that I didn't make myself for shit. I know it's a problem, and I'm trying to work on it, but my current self just can't do it. I am humbly sending out a request for help if you are willing.**

 **Also, I admit Sam became a little Gary Stu here, and I'll come back to it, promise.**

'Man, these guys are sloppy.' Sam thought to himself, easily dodging another one of those light spears from the group of winged people. Their aim was pretty bad(though that didn't really matter much when they EXPLODED) and they weren't all that fast when compared to his reaction time. Safe to say, Sam wasn't all that worried.

But then again, the women were starting to get pissed.

All interactions with the hunters of Artemis stated that you do not want to mess with a pissed off woman.

He still sometimes has nightmares about that one Christmas party.

"Yah know, we can stop whenever?" Sam stated, standing on top of a pew. The leg wound was pretty much healed now, only leaving a slight red mark from where it was. Sam didn't quite understand why that was, but he wasn't really in the mood for questioning it either. The blond was currently looking at the down forms of the winged persons who had a few bullet wounds here and there, two of them currently being dead. Both the man and the woman in the trench coats were gone, two shots to the kidneys for the man and a bullet through the woman's spine made sure of it.

The blond in the maid costume was relatively unharmed, Sam had only made shots to incapacitate and not kill.

Sam was keeping his own blond code, sue him. Blondes gotta stick out for each other.

Especially against all those blond jokes.

The response from the still alive bird people was expected, the one trying to play solo s&m threw another light 'spear(?)' from her position on the ground. The spear was easily dodged by the blond, the bullets through her arms and legs keeping her from moving too much in pain.

"Come on~" Sam whined out. "I only killed like-" Sam quickly glances around the room. "...A lot of you, but you attacked first!"

"Fuck you!" The frilly blond yelled, moving her arms through the pain to reach her last living companion.

"...Well, I'm hurt." I say, flinching back in mock offence. "I thought us blondes got to stick together yeah?"

CRASH

Suddenly, the doors from the front of the church get smashed open!

"Oh what no-" Sam groaned, turning to face the door but stopped short seeing three...

"High, school, students?" Sam mumbled out, head tilted in confusion. The three people at the entrance of the church wore matching uniforms... he thinks...

Anyway, two males and one female. The first male was another blond(BLOND POWER) and had a black blazer and some pants. The second male had brown hair, a black blazer like the first male but his was opened over a red shirt, and some pants. The last person was a female wearing a dress, cape, dress... It had frills at the end of a skirt, that was all he was specifically getting out of it.

The tree people, after breaking down the doors, kinda just stood there in slight shock. You know, like when a friend of yours blows out your birthday candles and takes away your wish for the year.

The downed s&m bird person decided it would be a good idea to strike while Sam was distracted by the new intruders. The red light appeared in her hands, forming a sharp red spear of light, and she threw it as hard as she could muster at the blond menace that ruined her plans for the evening.

The spear flew straight and true, the pointed end aimed right at the back of the demigod's chest right where his heart would be. The bird woman's eyes widened in sadistic glee. The destroyer of her plan, her lackeys, the entire reason of going against orders, was going to di-

BANG

The red spear of light shattered into a million pieces as a bullet left the barrel of Sam's gun which quickly buried itself in between the s&m soloist's eyes.

"Just for the record, I wanted to stop five minutes ago." Sam said, hopping down from his place on the pew to inspect the bodies of the fallen. He picked up one... two... all of the 'light sabres' from the robed people.

They were shiny.

Sam liked shiny.

The blond man and the white haired little girl had snapped out of their stupor and moved as if to fight the demigod. The blond had his sword raised and a serious look on his face while the white haired girl just raised her small gloved hands.

"Issei." The blond spoke to, presumably the brown haired boy as he reacted to the name(?). "We don't know if Asia is still alive. Koneko and I are going to hold him here so you can go get pres, she should be just inside the woods." The brown haired boy looked to have a mixture of surprise and anger, though the anger being more prominent. Sam thought a fight was going to break out between the two males, but the little girl interrupted before things could get out of hand.

"We'll get the information out of him." She said in a flat tone, pounding a small finest inter her hand. Okay, Sam would admit that took away from the appeal a bit, but she was still freaking adorable!

The blond demigod turned to the fallen blond bird person. "Do you know who their talking about, or..?"

The bird person understandably just stared at Sam with fear filled eyes. Ouch, that's gonna come back to haunt him. Sam turned around to face the other people who entered the ro-

CLANG

Sam's arm brought up his gun just in time to block a sword strike from the blond man, safely protecting himself from sword damage. But that was short lived as the small girl smashed one of her gloved fists into Sam's stomach, making him real in pain and be sent flying back and crashing into a podium in the middle of the church. The force of my flying body smashed the podium over to reveal a hidden passageway underneath.

"OW! Son ov'a- FUCK!"

The blond demigod didn't notice as he too busy reeling in pain. He looked up, seeing the blond and girl moving towards him, and stood up.

"Alright." Sam grunted, he might have broken a rib from the punch, but he wasn't sure. "No more mister nice Sam!" And the sword wielding blond disappeared, gone like the wind!

'Telepor-! No! Speed!'

Sam was thankful for all those fights with werewolves for boosting up his reaction time to crazy levels. The blond demigod swiftly turned around and wrapped his arm around the other blond's arm, holding a pistol up in line with his wrists. The mystery blond's eyes widened in surprise.

BANG

"AAAUGG!" The swordsman wailed in pain when the bullet pierced through both his wrists making him drop the sword he was holding.

"Kiba!" The girl yelled, worry in her voice. She clenched her teeth in anger and mad a mad dash towards the blond demigod with a battle cry.

Sam let go of the blond's arms, allowing them to flop to his sides, and turned to the rushing girl.

BANGBANG

Two shots rang out and the girl fell to the ground, her feet giving out on her from the two new bullet wounds.

"How dare you hurt my friend!" Oops. Sam left blondie all alone and now he's all mad.

The son of Hermes quickly turned to the other blond and held a gun to the boy's temple and pulled the tri-

Sam jumped back to avoid the big ball of red energy that smashed into the ground where he was standing. The red energy had vaporized the place that the blond demigod was previously standing.

"Oh crap!" Sam yelled, surprised at the new hole in the ground.

 **Good, Bad, horrible?**

 **I still need help with the personalities thing though. Please help.**


	4. People are Colors

**Finally. Fucking. DONE.**

"Oh crap!" Sam yelled, surprised at the new hole in the ground. Admittedly it isn't very difficult to destroy wood compared to other materials, but still! The wood was vaporized completely!

Glancing toward the entrance of the church, as that was where the blast had come from, the brown haired boy had returned from wherever the sword blond had told him to go. He had returned with two more people, both girls, and the red head held a large ball of the red energy that vaporized the hole into the ground. She had on a larger version of what the white haired girl had on, so more skirt frills, and had an angry expression and the other girl had black hair and had on white and red robes.

"Kiba!" The brown haired boy yelled, rushing forward with anger in his eyes.

"SACRED GEAR!"

A shiny green light shone out from the back of the boy's left arm. The light quickly died down however and showed a bright red gauntlet covering most of his forearm.

The green gem embedded into it sparkled in the moonlight that drifted in through the window.

"...SHINY!"

Sam darted forward, guns placed back into his jacket and arms outstretched, reaching for the new shiny object.

"Eh-?" The brown haired boy seemed to be slightly startled at the sudden outburst but was quickly tackled to the ground by the blond demigod. The brown haired boy's arm was soon pulled up behind his back, causing him to wince in pain at the forced movement.

"Shiny-!" Sam gazed at the green jewel, but feeling his danger sense going off, he sort of, leaned back and backflipped off of the downed boy to avoid another wave of red energy along with some electricity mixed in.

"You would do well not to pick on my servants." The red head said, anger in her voice and red energy swirling around an open palm. The blond stared at her, slightly miffed and confused.

"Servants? What are we in, the bronze age?" Sam dug his hands back into his jacket pockets, reaching for... something... he wasn't really entirely sure if he wanted to continue his killing spree or not. To be completely honest, now that he thinks about it, this is probably a big misunderstanding, isn't it?

Sam cartwheels off to the side to dodge another blast of the red energy and lightning combo.

Unless they were with the dead guys. If they were with the dead guys then why weren't they here earlier?

The blond backflipped to dodge a punch from the brown haired boy followed by quickly tripping him up and ducking behind a pew for some cover.

No, they probably weren't with the dead guys, they would have acted more hostile and angrier then they were. So...

The blond poked his head up over the top of the pew.

"Who the hell are you guys?"

Another blast of energy forced the blond to duck and roll away from the now demolished pew. The blond swordsman had decided that he could still use his legs and landed a kick to the demigod's shoulder, sending him tumbling to the ground a little ways away. The kick was... really bad... Sam could tell the guy was more of a glass cannon with swords but other than that, his strength was only a bit above a normal human. Didn't mean he could do nothing though.

"Promotion: ROOK!" The yell from the brunette boy drew Sam's attention, and if it was possible, the boy got even slower.

"Take this-!" The boy yelled, throwing a haymaker with his gauntlet hand and Sam dodged to the left of the attack. The blond demigod quickly slammed his leg into the side of the attacking boy, but the brunette was only toppled over and not kicked away!

'Speed for defence!' Sam yelled internally, slamming your shin into a person who apparently was like wood hurt like slamming your shin into a person who was apparently like wood!

And no, Sam ment wood. The brunette was still too fleshy to be considered stone.

"Take this!" The black haired robe person said, her hand raised high with electricity sparkling around her fingertips. Sam barely dodged the supercharged bolt of electricity as it came down from some unseen force.

The blond demigod quickly ducked behind... something that was once part of the church but due to the gunfire and whatever these people were doing, it was left unrecognizable. Sam quickly went over the situation in his head, trying to remember some of the thought management processes that were drilled into his brain.

'Al right, there are currently five hostile entities. Sword guy is a bit persistent but easily beatable, browny had apparently gained super strength/durability, whitey was pretty much down for the count, not being able to move and all. Currently the biggest threats are reddy and blacky but their aim is only just a bit better than the bird people, so easily deal withable.'

Sam looked over the side of the mysterious object he was hiding behind to look at the group of people. They were currently regrouping, blondie carrying whitey over his shoulders, and they all gathered around reddy.

'Right. Plan.' Sam thought to himself before jumping over his cover towards the group. 'Plans are for suckers!'

Sam landed.

On a previously hidden flight of stairs.

Which he proceeded to tumble down.

Painfully and reminiscent to slapstick comedy I might add.

"AAAHH!" Sam yelled as he tumbled head over heels down the stairs, desperately using his hands to make sure his head didn't get hit by the stone walls. The stairway was lit up by some torches and led to another room underground, which Sam landed into with a 'CRASH'.

"oww..." The blond demigod groaned out, picking himself back up off of the stone floor. Doing a once over, Sam was glad that he didn't have any broken bones or a concussion.

...

Those black spots were always there, right?

Sam quickly surveyed the room for any shiny things, as a kleptomaniac would do, and his focus was immediately brought to a large green glowing cross in the back of the room.

That had a girl chained to it.

Well.

The girl had long blond hair and had on a white sun dress that honestly looked to be a size too big, like maybe it belonged to someone that had a larger body and she was borrowing it. The girl had her eyes closed and head down, almost like she was napping or she was-

"Oh, don't be dead." Sam whined out, rushing to the chained girl's side and quickly released her of her chains. The blond girl had a nice feel about her, unlike the people upstairs who had a not nice feel. That was why they were currently resting in the afterlife.

Singing songs and dancing around with loved ones.

...

Ah, who was he kidding. They were all probably in Hell.

Pushing those thoughts to the side, the blond demigod set the girl down onto the ground and placed his ear to the girl's mouth, too see if she was still breathing. Sam sighed in relief when he felt a soft tickle of breath on his ear. The demigod pulled himself away from the downed form of the girl and gave a smile.

He was growing attached already.

Don't question him, his emotions are just weird like that.

'Right, now just to get her to a bed for some rest and a nice big glass of orange juice fix'er right up!' The blond demigod placed his arms around the sleeping girl and lifted her up onto his back and started to whistle a tune as he made his way back to the stairs to find the sleeping girl a bed.

"Asia!"

'...Oh right, their still here.'

The brown haired boy was the first down the steps, his gauntlet glowing a bright green and a mix of anger and fear was in his eyes. Next was the two girls, reddy who was followed by blacky, but the blond haired swordsman and whitey seemed to be left behind upstairs. Not that I can blame them, both took a beating.

"Asia!" The boy yelled again, his eyes widening in anger.

"Can you people only say names or is this some language I don't know?" Sam ask with a tilt of his head.

"Let her go!" The boy yelled, running at the blond demigod with his gauntlet covered hand raised for a haymaker. Sam quickly sidestepped and stuck out his leg, tripping the rushing boy and making sure to not jostle the sleeping girl on his back.

"So you can form coherent sentences." The blond demigod shook his head to enter a new train of thought. "Look, I've had fun and all, but we're all tired and the fight upstairs let lose some of the stress. So let's just let bygones be bygones and call it a night." Sam said, glancing at the female pair situated at the door, reddy seemed a bit more confident then before and blacky had a creepy smile, kind of like they knew something was going to happen but Sam couldn't figure out what.

"Screw that..." The brown haired boy grumbled out, picking himself off of the floor. The boy's brown eyes thatwere glowing a light green glared up into slightly astonished blue of the demigod. "I'm not leaving in till you give me Asia!"

"...You know it would help if you told me who Asia was..?" The blond demigod said in a matter of fact tone. The brunette's eyes seemed to actually grow angrier, the green gem on his gauntlet glowing a bright green.

OVER BOOSTER

"The girl on your back!" The brown haired boy yelled, charging at Sam with a new burst of speed and his gauntlet was covered in a bright light and... changed...

The gauntlet was now very red and very spiky. It spread to now reach the upper arm of the boy's arm and it had gained another large green jewel and his hand was now covered in red claws.

Sam quickly ducked out of the way of the incoming punch from the brunette, being careful not to disturb the sleeping girl on his back. The blond demigod continued to dodge and swerve away from the attacking boy's punches, which was a bit difficult to do as he had to worry about another person, so he made a decision.

Sam leapt back from another of the boy's punches and landed next to the two girls who blinked in surprise at the sudden closeness of the demigod. Sam carefully placed the girl that was on his back next to the stairway. The blond glanced over to the two slightly surprised girls.

"Hey-"

"Touch her, and I blow your brains out." Sam cut off whatever reddy was going to say and reached into his jacket once again, grabbing his bludgeoning weapon of choice, a large wooden Louisville Slugger baseball bat.

Cliche, he knew, but damn if it doesn't works well.

Everyone seemed to do a double take at the large baseball bats sudden appearance out of the small jacket pocket, giving Sam all the time he needed to pull off a surprise attack.

"BANZAII!" The blond demigod screamed as he swung the wooden stick at the brunette.

"What the fuck!?" A loud CRACK had run through the air as the baseball bat hit the boy's skull, knocking the brunette out instantly from the blunt force. And just like the boy, Sam fell limp backwards to dodge a red mass of energy that destroyed another hole into the wall.

"Looks like Issei couldn't handle this all on his own." A light voice said with amusement and a hit of deadlines. This came from the black haired girl, her eyes narrowed dangerously and a hand covering her mouth.

"Then It's my job to pick up where Issei left off. Akeno, take the nun and get Kiba and Koneko out of here. I'll pay back our little unknown for everything he's done.." The red head girl said, her body completely covered in a red aura, her energy leaking into the air around her.

"...Bitch, he swung first." Sam tightened his grip on his slugger and prepared to throw the wooden stick at blacky who seemed to inch close to the sleeping blond haired girl. "If anything, I acted in self defence!"

The blond jumped back out of the way of another red energy blast, being careful to not touch the violent red energy least he lose some part of his body.

"The time for talking is over." Reddy took a step forward. "Prepare to be destroyed."

'Right.' Sam thought, tossing his baseball bat to his left hand and pulling out a gun from his jacket with his right. 'Translation, I'll try my hardest to do what so many other monster have been trying to do for the last twelve years, and fail.'

BANG

CRASH

A shot rang out from Sam's gun, slamming into the wall right next to blacky making her wince back from grabbing the sleeping blond.

"What I say?" The blond asked. "I warned you, right? I did say 'Don't touch her or I blow your brains out.', right?"

"Ara, ara. I suppose you did." Blacky chuckled and hid her mouth behind a hand. "But you shouldn't be focusing on me. I'm not you opponent." Indeed she wasn't, for Reddy took no time in sending a another volley of red masses of destruction that the blond demigod had to dodge with cartwheels, backflips, frontflips, and even some tuck and rolls.

"Stay... still..!" Reddy growled out, becoming more and more annoyed as Sam continued to dodge her blasts. Blacky had by now grabbed the sleeping blond and retreated up the stairs, Reddy covering her from the blond demigod

"Hahaha HA ha! Hahaha HA ha!" Sam yelled back the woody woodpecker laugh and rolled away from another blast of destruction, right next to the downed brunette. Sam glanced at the unconscious boy, and up at the red head, back at the boy, back to the red head.

Sam picked up the boy and threw him as hard as he could at the red headed girl.

"Hey batta' batta'!"

"Issei!" Reddy called out in some worry, rushing to catch the flailing boy.

"Hay batta' batta' SWING!"

A wooden bat slamming into her face stoped her advances.

The force from the Louisville Slugger sent Reddy flying back, slamming into a wall unconscious. Her nose was also bleeding slightly and there was going to be a nasty bruise on her eye in the morning, but was otherwise fine.

Sam winced when the brunette he throw crashed into Reddy.

"...Well, that's one less problem to worry about." Sam said, stepping past the unconscious bodies and walking up the stairs to the upper part of the church. On the upper level, the four other person's were huddled together near the middle of the church, blacky having a greenish aura around her hands as she healed both the blonds and whitey.

"... said she was going to deal with our mystery and bring up Issei." Blacky seemed to reassure the two wounded people.

"Akeno." The conscious blond said seriously. "You should be down there with Rias, beating him down. He's much tougher than he looks."

"Tough." Whitey nodded in agreement.

"She'll be fine." Blacky seemed to reassure the two. "Rias is our master after all."

"Kinky."

The three conscious beings practically snapped their necks, turning to face the voice.

Sam stood there, a smile on his face and wooden baseball bat held over his shoulder. '...Why do I want bubblegum..?'

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...What?"

Sam quickly rolled out of the way of a lightning strike made by the black haired girl.

"What did you do with Rias!?" Blacky demanded, genuine anger showing on her face for the first time.

"...Who?" Sam dodged another bolt of lightning. "If you mean Reddy and Browny, they're unconscious downstairs." Sam rolled forward, dodging another lightning strike, and brought himself inside blacky's guard, making her try to take a step back but Sam quickly swung up with the baseball bat and knocked her off her feet. Blacky was sent flying back into the two other downed person's, like Reddy and Browny downstairs, and landed in a heap of limbs.

Sam watched on as the three people struggled a bit to get back up. The blond sighed and shook his head. "Board now." The blond demigod walked over to the unconscious blond girl and picked her up, giving her a piggy back ride.

Sam quickly walked past the three people, and seeing how Blacky was regaining her senses, the blond demigod swung his baseball, hitting her on the head and knocking her out.

Seeing that the three weren't getting up, Sam made his way out of the church and down the stone path, glancing side to side for anywhere he could crash for the night. The moon was high up in the night sky, it having been around midnight, and most of all the stores weren't lit up, so Sam assumed they were closed.

He couldn't read any of the signs because of his dyslexia, because for all he knew the letters were stars and vague fist shapes and it could spell out 'worker for hire'. Everything just kinda went squiggly whenever he tried to read, so he kinda gave up.

Sam had eventually found a nice place to hide out, a warehouse that was relatively clean and had apparently belonged to a company that created mattresses, and Sam was grateful for that.

Sam set the still sleeping blond down on top of a clean mattress, quickly pulling out a light blanket he kept in his jacket for emergencies, and wrapped it over the girl. Seeing the girl snuggle into the blanket, Sam nodded to himself and went to go grab another mattress to sleep on.

GRUMBLE

...His stomach had other plans.

"Knew it was a good idea to stock up on MCI's before they stopped selling them." Sam happily said to himself, pulling out a medium sized box out of his jacket pocket, he pulled it open and preceded to eat most of the food in the box, saving the bread and some of the chicken for the sleeping girl.

After finishing his small meal, Sam finished his original goal of gaining another mattress and left the rest of the box next to the sleeping, just in case she wakes up and is hungry. Sam had brought a box in between him and the girl and situated his mattress on the other side.

"Well, hope I don't get moved tonight." Sam mumbled out as he drifted off to sleep.

 **Well, this took way too much time to put out. My only excuse is that back in school now and I wanted to get this arc done with, it took a while.**

 **Anyway. Love it? Hate it? Did I take waaaay too long?**

 **Edit 12/11/16: changed a thing. Search for it.**


	5. Wallets are nice

**Well, I'm back. School is fun, ja?**

"Finally. They're asleep."

A shadowed figure walks silently through the mattress warehouse, his eyes set on the sleeping blond girl.

His plan had changed slightly from how he wanted it to go originally, the Gremory devils interfering was an unknown surprise and he knew he couldn't take on all of them at once. Or if Rias had decided to reincarnate Asia as one of her pieces, he wouldn't have been able to do anything.

But then the blond boy interfered.

Another unexpected surprise, but definitely easier to deal with since he was without anyone to watch over him, unlike the high class devil with a maou for an older sibling.

The cloaked figure seemingly glided over to the sleeping girl, a grin making it's way across figures face. Finally! The nun that he had invested so much time in was going to be his! All the planning, pain, and tracking would finally pay off! The cloaked figure reached into a pocket and pulled out a small red chess piece, a bishop, one of the few pieces he still had left.

The person placed the red piece on top of the girls left breast, right above her heart. The smile grew on the beings face. A shudder went down the man's back, imagining what he would do to the blond nun. He could picture it now, the girl waking up chained to a wall. Her blouse would be open and her pants ripped. She would panic at first, but then again, which one of his servants hadn't. The rape would start off small, him explaining the situation, then dirty talk. Teasing would be next, oh how he loved that part. The chast nun being exposed to any sense of pleasure for the first time always brought a smile to his face.

But that is for later, he has to first take the girl as one of his servants for any of that to happen. He began the reincarnation ceremony, the words for the mystic ritual leaving his li-

pff

A very light noise interrupted the cloaked person from speaking.

Diodora Astaroth was dead before he hit the ground, a small bullet hole bleeding profusely from the back of his head.

"...mmmmmmuffins..." Sam groaned out, his right arm slipping the pistol and silencer back into his jacket pocket and rolling over onto his side, not seeming to have woken up.

Whether he knew it or not, Sam had changed a course of action in the following year. He had stopped an act of evil from happening. But the universe demands balance. With one problem solved, another will rise to take its place.

...In a few months. The new problem was feeling lazy.

"...What happened last night?" Sam mumbled to himself, staring confused at the large pool of blood and the dark haired corps. The blond had woken up a few minutes ago and had went to see if he could scavenge(read as steal) any materials for better beds to sleep on. Maybe a lamp. And definitely a table.

Boxes were nice but not the best.

When he swung his feet over the side of his mattress, Sam's boots landed in the large puddle of blood and made a little splash, drawing his attention. Now the blond was pondering on how to deal with the corpse in a neat and orderly fashion. He didn't want a repeat of that time in Philly and get hounded by the cops again.

"Well, first to clean up the mess..." Sam mutters to himself, picking up the body and lugged it over his shoulder. The blood on the back of the corpse was dry, something Sam was grateful for as it wouldn't get all over his jacket. Sam stuffed his hand into his jacket and pulled out a very large ground cover and placed it over the splotch of blood on the ground. He would deal with it later. "Now, where to put you." Sam glances around at the other boxes for a good place to hide the body in till further notice.

"...munya~..."

Sam's attention was brought to the other blond in the room as she let out a light... yawn... Did she just say 'munya'?

Wait. Unsuspecting blond. Dead body. Unwanted panic.

Sam's head darted side to side slightly panicked looking for a place to hide the body for less complications.

...

The blond demigod quickly made a decision and flung the corpse into a large pile of boxes, toppling them over and making a pile of boxes that hid the body well. Sam lightly smiled to himself as he couldn't see the body.

"...Uh..."

Sam turned back to the blond girl who was now sitting up and staring at him in confusion and some hesitation and fear mixed in.

"Hey sleepy head~" Sam said with a smile and sat back down onto his own mattress. "Sleep well?"

"Che cosa?"

"..."

"..."

"...Oh gods damn it." The blond demigod groaned out, head lowering in defeat. Of course there was a language barrier! I man, otherwise it would just be too easy. Gods, he's starting to think he wasn't in Nashville anymore, first with the weird cult and now this.

"Right, ok." The blond looked back up at the blond girl who's eyes showed a mixture of confusion and worry. "I don't understand you and you probably don't understand me." Sam stood up and walked over the the girl, grabbing the rest of the meal box he had left out and placed it in the girl's hands.

"You eat, and we'll look for a translator in town." The blond demigod walked back over to his own mattress and laid down on his back, gazing at the roof of the warehouse.

The blond girl glanced up at Sam, and back down to the MCI. After opening the box, she placed her hands together and said something in her language that Sam would akin to a prayer, and ate carefully with the steel fork.

"Not. One. Person." The blond demigod leaned back on a park bench, letting out a slight groan in frustration. The blond girl was sitting next to Sam, with her hands folded over her lap and looking around nervously.

It's been almost two hours since the two blonds left the warehouse in search of someone who knew both English and whatever the hell the girl spoke. There was a few people who could speak English, but practically no one spoke the other blond's given tongue. Sam eventually just asked where the police station was from the English speakers to end the conversation. He never actually went to the police station though. Too many problems would arise from it. Like how he technically didn't have any legal identification on him.

Though, now that Sam actually thought about it, finding someone fluent in three separate languages, English, whatever was the public language(something like Japanese or Chinese, he always got those two mixed up) and whatever the blond girl beside him spoke, would probably be pretty freaking hard to find on the streets anywhere. But he digresses.

"Problems..." Sam once again groaned staring up at the bright blue sky. "This just sucks. Can't understand a lick of anything being said around here." Sam's eyes squinted and glanced around, searching for something.

'Now, if I were the Fates, I'd have something oddly convenient happen.'

"Issei!"

"There it is." Sam watched as his companion blond got up and rushed to a brown haired boy that looked really glum. He had bandage tape wrapped around his forehead, almost like he got injured from falling or crashing into something, along with a primarily black school uniform.

"Asia!"

"Oh great, we're back to a language of just names..." Sam grumbled out, standing up off of the bench and followed the female blond.

"Where have you been!? Your not hurt are you!?" The brunette quickly did a once over of the female blond, patting her down for any injuries. Satisfied with his search, the boy brought the female blond in with a hug, a few tears escaping his eyes. The nun blushes, and returns the hug, rubbing the larger boy's back awkwardly.

"Asia. Asia your okay." The boy sniffs out, more tears falling, hugs tightening. "Asia I thought ... you weren't ... *sniff* ... disappeared and ... *sniff* ... ASIAAA~!" The floodgates broke, and the brunette started to flat out bawl his eyes out. He hugged the blond tight as if afraid she would disappear if he let go.

"...Well, I feel ignored..." Sam grumbled out. While it was a heartwarming scene, the boy didn't appreciate that he was flat out ignored.

"Issei... It's okay, I'm okay." The girl said in her language that Sam didn't know. She hugged the crying brunette, rubbing his back in a comforting manner.

"Welp." Sam stood up and brushed off his jeans. "I'll leave you two to whatever you're doing." The blond stuck his hands in his pockets and made his way to the town square.

A tugging on his hood stopped Sam however. Sam sighed and turned around to face the female blond.

"Look, you found someday that clearly knows you" Sam gestured to the brunette. "and I-"

"YOU!" The brunette yelled and pointed his finger in shock at the demigod.

"Me?" Sam pointed to himself in confusion.

"Asia, get away from him!" The brunette pulled Asia behind him and spread his arms out in a protective manner. "He's the one who kidnapped you last night."

"I did?" Sam tilted his head in confusion. He quickly went over the events of the night prior and his eyes lit up in recognition. "Oh yeah." He nodded. "I can see how that could look like kidnapping."

"I don't care if it looked like a kidnapping, just stay away from Asia!"

"Yeesh. I was leaving anyway." Sam held his hands up in surrender. The blond gave a small smile to Asia, and turned to leave. "Nice wallet by the way."

The brunette's eyes widened in surprise at the random comment from the blond and quickly patted himself down. He didn't have his wallet anymore. Issei's head snapped up to the retreating blond.

"Ahaha!" Sam laughed, in his right hand a brown wallet.

"Hey!"

"Try and keep up!"

Sam broke out in a sprint.

And disappeared into the masses.

 **I'm a try to get the next thing out asap, but as you can see, three hours of free time at night that isn't all dedicated to writing has drawbacks.**

 **Did I do good? Bad? Mediocre? anything in between?**


	6. SPARKY SPARKY BOOM BOOM

**Okay, not much to say other than I will probably implement zone crossovers, main elements or cameos are to be determined, for those who didn't notice the small change to the story summery.**

"Huh. Didn't expect browny to be part of a cult." Sam said looking at a piece of paper with an intricate circle on it. "I wonder if they sacrifice virgins?... I should probably go save the blond, shouldn't I?" Sam sighed.

Sam was currently crouching on top of a small building. The blond demigod had lost the brunette a while ago, and was currently sifting through his wallet. Inside the acquired wallet was an I.D. of the brunette that Sam couldn't read, a couple thousand yen, the cult circle that he was currently holding, and a few various cards that Sam assumed to be coupons.

Yes, Sam knew what yen was. Admittedly it was a little bit different from what he usually saw, but it was still recognisable. Being the son of the God of travelers, Sam knew the exchange rates of money from place to place. Not as useful as, say, the ability to know all languages like Danny, but it still helps to know if he was being ripped off or not. It also told him the general area of where he was. Japan if his memory was right on what money system goes where. Which brought up another question.

"How the hell did I even get here? The cave thing was trippy, but I didn't peg it to be teleportation of some kind. I mean, that along with all the fancy technology around, it almost seems like I was transported through time-..." Sam stopped.

...

"That wasn't the labyrinth, was it?" It would make sense. The labyrinth is known to be spread out across the world, it changes constantly, and time is skewed inside the massive tunnels. Through that didn't really explain the multiple drop off points.

Yes it did.

...It didn't explain why-

Yes it did.

...

But-

No.

...

Well, Sam couldn't figure out any other possibility besides the labyrinth. Cars aren't flying yet, so it's probably still during the 1980's, 1990's if he was pushing it. The blond sighed. It really sucked not being able to read much of anything. If he could, he was sure he would be able to find out where(and when) exactly he was outside of the general 'in Japan' and figure out a way back to the states.

...

"Yah know, I never got back to the camp after that mission, did I?"

...

"...I really hope they don't think I'm dead." Sam climbed down the side of the building, to the next event in the road that was his life.

"Neat." Sam thumbed at a small device, white ear buds placed snuggly in the sides of his head. The blond had snagged the small device off of a passerby an hour ago, and had taken his time figuring out what it did, it played music he had found out. Sam couldn't read any of the song titles or band names, but he considered himself lucky that he grabbed the device off of he assumed an American traveler, as the music that it played was in English. Though it could have also been British. Meh.

The music that was on the machine was different than what he was used to, something about a guy named 'blurryface', but there were some familiar songs and bands. Queen, and even The Beatles. Sam decided he liked the 'future music' and kept the small device.

Suddenly, the music shut off. Sam stopped and blinked in surprise and pulled out the small music box. The screen on the small green device was pitch black. Sam tried the power button, only for nothing to happen. A few more fiddling minutes later, and a small image on the screen that looked like a sideways battery appeared. Inside of the battery image as a small amount of the color red and a lightning bolt symbol in the middle of it.

...

"...Ohhhh..." Sam figured it out. "It needs to be fed energy. ... how do I do that?" Sam wasn't a son of Zeus, he couldn't just zap it and hoped for the best. He was a son of Hermes, God of thieves, so the answer was simple.

He would thieve the energy.

"Okay, admittedly, this plans worked out a lot better in my head." The blond demigod groaned. He was currently hanging off the side of a catwalk. Roughly twelve feet below his dangling feet, a large cluster of things that concentrated electricity sparked dangerously. Standing above the blond, on the catwalk and growling at him, was a wolf.

If a wolf quadrupled in size, was blue, and had lightning arching across its fur.

A majestic creature, Sam thought if, you know, it wasn't trying to kill him at the moment.

"I shall name you Sparky." Sam said, staring into the wolf's eyes. "I will love you and care for you give you lots of belly rubs and- ACK!" Sam's right hand let go of the catwalk to dodge the jaws of the thunder beast from bitting his head off. Sam noticed with annoyance that his left hand started to hurt really bad.

'Bad news.' Sam thought. 'I probably can't survive however many volts are currently being processed below me. Good news.' The blond demigod smirked and reached into his pocket. 'I have back-up plans.' The blue wolf lashed forward again, powerful jaws aimed for the elusive boy below it. The beast didn't get far, however, as Sam's bat slammed into the side of the canine's face, forcing the skull to clang against one of the metal bars of the catwalk landing.

The wolf was stunned by the sudden impact which gave Sam time to flip back onto the catwalk to plan his next move.

The next move, if the lunging lightning wolf was anything to go by, was to duck. Which he did. Sam bent backwards, narrowly dodging the rows of razor sharp teeth. Sparky landed behind Sam, though it was quickly tackled by the blond demigod. Sam's bat had quickly been replaced with an AMT hardballer that was pressed firmly against the base of Sparky's skull.

BANG

The bullet passed through the air space Sparky had once occupied. The lightning beast had somehow morphed into pure lightning and darted further down the hanging platform, dodging the deadly projectile.

"Oh come on!" Sam gripped, ducking to the left as the beast charged pass him once again. This was getting really annoying really fast. Anytime the blond got off a shot at the lightning wolf, it changed into lightning and moved out of the way. Infuriating!

Sam jumped off of a handrail, dodging the wolf's lunge. He flew over the electricity below and grabbed hold of another catwalk, pulling himself up onto the platform. The blond quickly ducked again, Sparky now flying over the other side of the platform.

"HA! How's you like those 40 thousand volts!"

...

...

...

"Ah shit..." Sam jumped off of another hand rail, narrowly dodging the newly empowered Sparky. The beast now had large spikes growing out of its shoulders, more lightning sparking at the tips.

"Sparky Sparky boom boom!"

RATATATATATATATATATA

A 1980's uzi let out a spray of bullets, puncturing through wires, steel and the dangling catwalk. The super charged beast had changed itself I to lighting once more and dodged the onslaught of flying metal. It reformed behind Sam, who now had his IMBEL pointed between the wolf's eyes.

BANG

"AH! FUCK! DAMN IT!"

The bullet had missed, unsurprisingly with the track record going. The wolf had once again morphed into lighting and slammed against Sam's torso, electing the profanity from the blond. Billions of volts of electricity was pumped through the demigod's body, making muscles clench then spasm rapidly.

As soon as it started, it ended. The huge amounts of electrical energy suddenly disappeared and Sam was left blinking in surprise. He patted himself down, checking for any wounds. Surprisingly enough, no external marks were left on the demigod's body.

"...Weird." The blond muttered, rubbing his stomach and walked out of the electricity plant, the small music box fully charged from what Sam could attest to energy from sparky.

 **Good? Bad? Adequate? Feedback is greatly needed for personal drive and to get ideas flowing.**


	7. The Part Where I Die

**In the previous chapter, Sam had a run in with an electric wolf. Then this happens. First crossover implemented. Hope you enjoy!**

"...I feel like I did this to myself somehow..." Sam grumbled. It was dark now, the sun having set when he was halfway back from the power plant and the blond was currently standing in front of his hide-a-way. The doors had been busted open and the smell of fresh blood was in the air.

"Well." Sam pulled out his twin IMBELs. "No time like the present." And proceeded to walk though the broken in threshold.

Inside the mattress holding facility, boxes were scattered everywhere and ironically, there was a large amount of blood where Sam had first found the dead body that morning. Trails of blood scattered from the central pool in multiple directions, indicating there was either a really indecisive eater,

Multiple different growling noises broke the silence of the large room.

"Or there are more than one..."

"Hey Klaus." Growled a distorted voice from Sam's right. "I thought you put up a ward."

Another distorted voice the was assumed to be Klaus replied. "I did. But why are you complaining? Smells like a demigod. Haven't had one of his kind in a long time." A sound was made the Sam assumed to be the monster licking its lips. Four figure stepped into the moonlight that filtered through the holes in the ceiling.

The one on the right was an seven foot tall creature with a wolf head and bulging muscles. Like is a body builder on steroids decided they wanted more steroids. The one to the left of the ripped wolf man was a shorter being. A red cloak covered a very dark purple energy-like body and glowing red eyes. The creatures right arm was distorted into a sickle shape, a sharp edge scratching against the stone floor. Next was a huge creature that towered over everything else in the room. It had two large purple butterfly-like wings sticking out of its back along with looking like a large, purple praying mantis. The final figure was a very short blue thing with water for limbs.

"Well. I don't know what any of you are, and I'll be honest. That throws me off a little bit." Sam said, giving a shrug.

SHWING

Sam narrowly vaulted over the clawed limb of the red hood creature, it being much faster than first expected. The short blue creature raised one of its water limbs and a glob of water was fired at high speeds but was met with a BANG and exploded midair.

A large fist impacted into the blond's side, the large steroid man having moved in while Sam was distracted, and Sam was sent flying into the wall. Air was forced out of the demigod's lungs when his back crashed into the wall, but he couldn't stay stunned. Sam ducked as twin blades of the mantis crashed into the wall.

"Damn." The short blue on cursed. "Zekt! Alice!"

""Right.""

The purple mantis pulled its arms out if the walls and swiped continuously at Sam. The blond ducked and weaved away from the large blades, barely getting any ground.

BANGBANG

"SKREEE"

"Don't you know you could poke somebody's eyes out with those!?" Sam yelled and fired BANGBANG two more shots into the large organic carving tools. The blond jumped off of the injured mantis limbs and raised an IMBEL between the purple insect's eye-

SMASH

"GRK!"

The wolf man once again slammed one of his large bulking fists into Sam's side, causing some blood to spurt from his mouth and sent him flying. The blond crashed into another wall of the warehouse, the wall cracking from the force of the impact.

"Alrigh-" Another water projectile slammed into the bond's side, sending him through the wall and causing more blood to be spit.

Sam landed outside the warehouse on his back, staring up at the glittering stars. "...I have got to stop falling for the same tricks..." The demigod mumbled to himself.

Suddenly, the red hood creature appeared above him with the claw limb raised high. Sam's eyes widened at the sudden appearance and quickly move his guns to block the incoming blade. The impact of the sharp appendage slammed into the gun smashed Sam into the ground, a small creator formed around the downed boy. The creature's red eyes seemed to widen fractionally at the still breathing demigod.

Sam grit his teeth and kicked upward, knocking the hood off of him. He quickly rolled to the left and twin scythes cut deeply into the ground. The other three creatures had now made their way out of the warehouse.

BANG

"Gah!"

"Hah!" Sam cried out in triumph. The large wolf man was cradling his heavily bleeding fist, a bullet wound down the center of his arm. "Not falling for that again!"

"Ciarra now!"

The shout was the only warning Sam received before he had to duck under the hood's bladed appendage. BANG A bullet broke through whatever the hood had as skin an through its arm. A shrill cry came from the creature and the blond BANG shot another round into the hood's stomach area.

"Alice! Get Ciarra!" The blue one yelled. The mantis suddenly appeared and scooped up the wounded creature, not sparing Sam a second glance.

'So I'm guessing that's their healer.' Sam thought to himself, watching as the purple mantis disappeared into the warehouse. Sam's attention was brought back to the fight as he moved right to dodge another water projectile.

"Your fight is with us." The steroid wolf growled out.

"Yeah, I noticed." BANG Sam shot a round at the wolf man, breaking though it's knee and forcing it to kneel down. Sam them ducked, trying to dodge a speeding water orb. Sadly, his injuries started to take its toll, and the water caught Sam, sending him flailing across the pavement outside the warehouse. The demigod tumbled for a while before finally stopping by crashing into a lamppost that flickered.

"Ugh..." The demigod groaned.

"Uooo!" The wolf man cried, appearing above Sam with its fist reared back. Sam rolled off to the right, dodging the muscular fist. The first smashed into the lamp pole, the metal ripping from out of the ground and flying away.

"NOPE!" BANG Sam fired another shot into the muscled beings other leg, once again causing it to grunt in pain and take a knee. And another BANGBANGBANG met with incoming water globs from the water creature.

"Just hurry up and die!" Blue yelled, waving its right arm like a whip towards Sam. The water limb extended at the blond, the hand morphing into a sharp point. Sam dodged to the right and BANG fired a shot into Blue's arm. The creature yelled out in pain, the extended water limb looking its form and splattering over the ground.

"...It is really disturbing how much that looks like blood..." With it being dark, the latter over the ground looks almost exactly like a large trail of blood from the yelling Blue.

SMASH

"GRK!"

"IT MAY AS WELL BE!" The wolf man had gotten up again, despite the bleeding leg wounds that Sam knew had pierced through some bone. Loud cracking noises came from where the large fist impacted with the blonds back and sent him flying to Blue.

"Take THIIIS!" Blue yelled out, left arm reaped back and morphed into a water spike. BANG The limb suddenly exploded as a bullet ripped through it. BANGBANGBANG Three more shots were fired I to Blue's chest, making him stumble and cry out in pain. Sam landed on the ground, tumbling head over heels and a lout CRACK was heard from his left arm and finally skidded to a stop.

"Klaus! NO! ALICE!" Steroids yelled out in panic. Mantis appeared again and scooped up the downed Blue and rushed off to the side.

"Ugh..." The blond demigod groaned as he stood up. His left arm was now twisted a few wrong ways and was bleeding profusely. Sam bit his tongue to keep from scree-

Well, Sam didn't have half a tongue anymore.

'How am I going to eat hotdogs now!?' Sam mentally screamed, though it was cut short as a blade tore into Sam's stomach, blood and guts flying everywhere.

"GAAH!"

The hood was on top of the downed demigod, it seeming to have been healed from earlier, and was slashing away with its large bladed limb. Through jacket, skin, bone. The blade ripped through it all, leaving behind gashed that sprayed more and more blood. The Hood never let up, gnashing across flesh, ripping out spleens and colons, deliberately missing the heart and lungs, saving those for last.

"Ciarra!"

The Hood stopped just as it raised its head to chomp down on the demigod's face. It turned to Blue who had called to it. Blue was limping, it's arms having been regenerated and being half carried by Steroids. The Hood gave Blue a tilt of its head in a questioning manner, blood somehow dripping off of its energy face. How blood stayed on the creature, Sam didn't know.

"I want the kill." Blue growled out, a hateful glare at the downed demigod. Blue eyes blankly stared up into a wicked smirk. Sam could barely breath out in pain.

Blue raised its water limb into the air, the limb changing into a spike.

The spike pierced through skull, Sam's head exploding in blood and Gore.

Sam Allen had died.

And everything erupted into fire.

 **Good? Bad? Confusing? It was all explained already? And no, I am not turning Sam into a Devil. I'm not THAT cliche.**

 **Suggestions make me write!**


	8. Well, That Happened

**What! Three chapters in a relatively close amount of time to each other!? This hasn't happened since the beginning of some of my stories!**

 **I'll admit, I'm not to terribly happy with how I wrote this chapter. I feel like I wrote too little non dialogue and the dialogue I did write was ' OF, but eh. I tried my hardest.**

 **Surprising how much I write while trying to avoid doing school work.**

"I'm Klaus, that one is Alice, the one next to her is Ciarra and the wolf is Zekt."

"Hmm. Hmm." A very much alive Sam nodded his head. "Klaus," He pointed to a white haired boy with blue slitted eyes. Klaus was the second shortest of the group, and wasn't all that muscular. Parts of the guy's jaw, chin and neck were small blue reptilian scales, why they were there, Sam didn't know. On his forearms were two large blue gauntlet like items that had intricate line markings on them. They were deactivated at the moment, but after a previous demonstration, Sam knew the items could control water be it projectile or forming stabbing weapons.

"Alice," A black haired girl that was clipped up into a pony tail with a butterfly clip, deep, crazed purple eyes and a small, manic grin. A large black scythe with a large golden spike sticking out of the top rested over her shoulder. Two large purple butterfly wings sprouted from her back, fluttering and twitching sporadically.

"Ciarra," A girl with yellow hair tugged her red cloak to hide her face better. Like Alice, Ciarra also had a very large scythe, though this one red in color. Sitting at the girl's feet is a small dog-like creature that was completely made out of purple energy and had a spiked collar. Ciarra was also holding onto a chain that connected to the dog's collar, in case it decided to do anything dangerous.

"And Zekt." A large white wolf with bandages over its paw continued to sleep. All over the large wolf were growths of something that looked akin to crystals. The blue crystals glittered ever so slightly in the bright moonlight. The beast's tail and ears twitched almost constantly. Hopefully the beast was having a very nice dream. "Okay, think I got everyone."

"Yeah." Klaus nodded.

...

"Soooo... what now?"

"Well," Klaus started, looking around at his three companions. "Now that we aren't strays anymore, I suppose..." He paused for a moment, then nodded.

"I don't know."

Sam deadpaned. "Really?" Klaus nodded.

"Really."

Sam scratched the back of his head. "...Well, I would suggest staying here for a while until you find your purpose, but I don't think you want to be in any form a servitude after what you've gone through." Alice quickly shook her head.

"Oh, no no no no. I'm not letting you off THAT easy. I wanna stay here. You died once and are still alive." She gave a sly grin. "Your pretty lucky and I want to see when that luck runs out." Disturbed blue eyes stared into madend purple.

"..."

"Hmm." Sam hummed and turned away from Alice.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...So, I'm going to go make you guys beds." Sam stood up and brushed off his pants. "Klaus, is it possible for you to clean up the blood you guys left? I don't want someone walking in here and making wrong assumptions." Klaus nodded, and went off to clean up the blood. Alice's eyes followed Sam as he went to make the beds and Ciarra laid on Zekt, quickly participating in the wolf's nap.

'Man am I lucky.' Sam sighed while pulling out a few mattresses. Sam had died, he knew that. He even saw Charon for a few moments! And the demigod knew Hades had wanted to get his hands on his soul ever since that oil drilling fiasco, but, it didn't happen.

Sam came back from the dead.

It was spontaneous, as he was being ushered into a Death EZPass lane, he was suddenly engulfed in flame. Sam had spontaneously combusted and a small explosion sent souls of the dead flying and messing up the carefully placed line separators.

The he was looking up at the face of a worried Klaus, though he didn't know that was his name at the time. To cut Sam some slack, Klaus looked really different from the small blue water midget that he was a few minutes prior.

Apparently, the monsters that Sam had fought and was kills by had been actual people, just morphed by something called an 'Evil Piece'. Klaus had tried to explain it to the blond demigod, but the kleptomaniac couldn't pay attention to the lecture for more than three minutes. Something about devils, angels, and gods? Eh, Sam didn't really want to sweat the small stuff.

Anyway, the actual reason for Sam's miraculous revival and for the transformation of the four strays was because of a whim.

The Phoenix feather Sam had gotten as a reward.

Taking the job was on a complete whim on Sam's part, the job said it wouldn't be able to pay in money, but Sam only really did it to get his name more recognised as someone who could get the job done. The fact that he got a revival item as a reward was complete luck!

And it came with a splash effect too!

For the process of a Phoenix to revive itself, it first had to die, then the rest of the body would recognize the death and burst into flames which it would then use to reconstruct the body by using the molecules of the dead bird from the smoke. So, when Sam died and burst into flames, his four attackers were close enough to get caught in the reviving fire.

And they all turned back into who they originally were.

Physically, at least.

There was probably more to how a Phoenix revives, but Sam was not a child of Hermes for nothing! He knew how to calculate exchange rates and how to steal things, not how magic works!

Anyway, turns out that Sam's killers were beings known as 'Stray Devils'. Beings which betrayed their master and went on to kill a bunch of people.

Or something like that. Sam decided not to worry about it too much.

"...People..." Ciarra mumbled out from her spot on Zekt.

"Hide!" Klaus stopped power washing the ground where the blood splatter was, and all the water rushed back into his gauntlets. The white haired boy quickly jumped over a wall of boxes and ducked behind them.

Alice flapped her wings and flew up into the rafters, ducking into one of the shadows above. Ciarra was suddenly covered in purple energy and was also whisked away to the rafters, on the opposite side of the building then Alice. Zekt... Well Zekt somehow morphed into a small pile of boxes. How he did that, Sam didn't know.

"...nd here is where the strays are staying. Be careful to watch over Asia, don't want her to get hurt on her first mission now would we Issei?"

"Right prez!"

Sam. Well, Sam apparently didn't act fast enough.

A "Tch." Was heard from heard from where Klaus was hiding. Something must have annoyed him.

"Under orders from the Duke Valefor and King Byleth, where are here to exterminate you stray devils! Klaus Vasserdrac! Ciarra Cochal! Alice Papillon! Zekt Pecus! Come out and face your death proudly!"

'Huh. That voice sound familiar.' Sam thought to himself, pulling out an IMBEL and loading it. 'Wonder where I heard it fro-' And Sam saw the people who were yelling for his new friends(he hopes!) heads.

They were the people from the church a few days ago. They were all there, Reddy, Blacky, Blondie, Whitey Browny, and they even had a new addition to the group. Another Blondie! This one female.

And it was the girl said he should probably save before the group sacrifices her or something.

...

"SHIT!" The loud yell brought all attention to Sam, who was slapping his forehead repeatedly. "THATS WHAT I FORGOT TO DO!"

"YOU!" The group yelled, each summoning swords, gauntlets and magic spheres to hold threateningly.

"HEY Girly Blondie! Did they sacrifice you yet!?" The yelled question caught the group off guard for a second. They all blinked in confusion.

"WHAT!?"

"Well, I'm glad that this has all been sorted out." Sam said calmly, sipping from a small cup of water. Across from the blond was the group, battered, bruised and groaning. Each of them were on a mattress getting healed by Asia, who hadn't been in the fight, and Alice, who was a surprisingly good healer for being a sociopath. Both had glowing lights around their hands, Asia's being green while Alice's was a deep purple. "No hard feeling by the way, right?" The demigod questioned at the downed group. A muffled 'Go to Hell...' was all he got in response. Zekt did a small wolf chuckle at the irony of that statement, Ciarra being shifted slightly from her sleeping spot on top of the wolf.

"Well Ms, uh..." Sam started.

"Gremory, one of the last great houses in the underworld." Klaus supplied from his position against the wall.

"Gremory." Sam nodded in thanks to the watermancer. "I do hope your comfortable. Sorry about the low bed standards, but I hope you can forgive us. Your intrusion was quite unexpected." The blond gave a small smile, hands folded over his lap.

"SAYS THE GUY WHO SHOT US!" Browny yelled at the blond demigod.

"Issei." Reddy chided calmly. Browny shut his mouth after that, but still had a furious look on his face.

"Once I get all healed up, I'm gonna beat you so hard you..." Browny grumbled to himself, going off on a hateful and revenge filled tangent under his breath. Reddy nodded to herself and took a deep breath. She sat up, having been healed mostly by Alice, and gave a short sitting bow at the blond demigod.

"I am sorry about not listening to your claims sooner, as it would have lessened the damage to us. And I give you my deepest gratitude for allowing us to live-"

"Okay, enough with that." Sam cut of Reddy with a wave of his hand. Reddy looked up in surprise.

"W-what?"

"Stop with the politics crap. I've always been bad at its always been way too nit picky for my liking." Sam place a hand on his chest and gained a proud look. "I am a simple man, with simple needs."

Everyone else sweat dropped. "Right..."

"Either way." Reddy said. "I really do appreciate it or you not killing my cute servants, and healing us." She gained a thoughtful look. "Not many people would heal their enemies after a battle." Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Eh." Sam waved it off. "Just a misunderstanding. 'Sides, we're glad to help." He shot Alice a glance. "Right Alice?" The purple girl shrugged, finishing up with the male Blondie and moving onto Browny.

"Personally, I'd like to be dancing with their souls on top of their corpses, but beggars can't be choosers."

"..."

"...I am, deeply disturbed by you." Sam said while giving the sociopath a horrified look.

"You and I both..." Male Blondie muttered, his first words since the fight ended.

"...Creepy..." That one ways Whitey.

"You'll get used to it Boss." And there was Klaus-

"Wait," Sam turned to the watermancer. "Since when was I 'Boss'?"

"Since you saved our lives twice now! Why wouldn't I call you boss?" Klaus exclaimed happily, small fangs being shown with his smile.

"Boss is nice..." Ciarra muttered quietly from atop of Zekt. "Boss gave Ciarra a place to rest and turned her back into a human." Underneath Ciarra, Zekt growled in agreement.

"I told you already, 'Boss'," Alice said in a way that sounded like teasing. "I want to see when your luck runs out!" A creepily happy smile. "Till then, your stuck with me." Alice slammed her fist into Browny's stomach, forcing his to cough up spit. "And you stop staring at my breasts while I heal you."

"Right..." Browny groaned out, half in pain and half in pleasure from being dotted on by a pretty girl. Apparently he either didn't care or didn't hear the part about her dancing in his corps, but it's too late for that now.

"...Well, that happened." Sam muttered. This was going to be weird, he never really worked on a team before. Sure he had gone through some teamwork exercises at the camp with fellow Demigods, but he was gone for most of the time on his solo 'jobs' with the request network he had set up. 'Hopefully that's still going.' Sam shook his head to clear his thoughts and turned back to the slightly amused Reddy.

"Right, so you were here on orders of some Duke, if I'm remembering right." Reddy nodded.

"Yes. The group you have gathered around yourself were stray devils that had killed their master and had run away. Being one of the local owners of this town, it fell onto my shoulders to exterminate the strays."

"We're not strays anymore." Klaus added his two cents. He stared at his hands I thought. "I, don't think we are even devils anymore. The revival restored my body to what it was **before** I became a Devil under servitude."

"Revival?" Reddy asked. Klaus shook his head.

"Don't worry about it."

"But-" Klaus glared at Reddy, effectively silencing her questioning. Blacky, now having been healed by Asia, rose a hand to her mouth to cover a small laugh.

"Ara ara. Seems like Vasserdrac wants to be secretive."

"And he's allowed to be secretive if he wants to be." Sam said. "Anyway. After Asia finishes up healing Whitey over there, I expect you to head on back home and get some good night's rest." Sam clapped his hands and smiled joyfully. "Tomorrow's a big day after all!" All heads turned toward the blond with varying degrees of confusion.

"What?"

"Tomorrow I'm going to meet with whoever is giving out these missions and set the record straight so they don't come after my newly gained group!" The demigod said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

...

...

""""WHAAAAT!?""""

 **Good? Bad? Confusing?**

 **Your reviews and thoughts provoke me to write!**

 **And here is where I hit my writers block. Don't expect another chapter for maybe a month like last time. The sentence above will probably help with it though! Thoughts and ideas help a lot!**


	9. Getting a Direction

**Remember when I said I would probably get this done in a month? Yeah, that was when I was optimistic.**

"Nice place you got here." Sam said, looking around in amazement at the Victorian style clubroom that the local devils called their base. Large red velvet couches, a nice coffee table, a desk off to the side, and even a shower place off to the side, surprisingly enough.

That reminded Sam. 'I haven't taken a shower in a couple days... I should probably ask to use it later.'

"Why thank you." Reddy smiled from her seat at her desk, her head being held up by her folded hands. "I'm glad you like it. But, down to business." Reddy's face turned a bit serious. "As my group had 'finished' the job, so to speak, I had to report into the Duke about my, ah, lack of success in exterminating the stray devils." Ciarra shuffled nervously next to Sam on the couch. "Safe to say, I had to mention you all and your request of an audience with the job bureau in the underworld. However, due to processing and having to go through the proper channels, you won't actually get a meeting until roughly two weeks from now."

Blacky walked into the room pushing a cart of small snacks and a tea set. Blacky made her first pit stop at Whitey, handing her a tray of cookies which the smaller girl began eating almost possessively. Male Blondy got a cup of tea and Ciarra got her own plate of cookies.

"Mhm. Mhm." Sam nodded. "So, what I'm hearing, is that one of the two reasons I have for coming here is delayed. Good to know." Sam picked up a cup of tea from Blacky's push cart.

"One of two?" Blacky tilted her head in question.

"Yeah. The first is to make sure that no one tries anything funny like put a bounty on our heads, the other is to scout out living arrangements here. Where did you think Klaus and the rest of them were? I mean, Ciarra's said she's already figured out where she's going to stay." Sam calmly sips his tea. Ciarra, hearing her name being said, perked up but quickly retreated back into herself, pulling her cloak over her face more.

Reddy gains a confused look. "...Living arrangements?" Sam nods.

"Yup! We spared your guy's lives, we get free room. Fair trade, yah?" Another sip

"We don't even know who you are!" Browny shouted from his seat. Sip. Sam gains a puzzled look.

"...Huh, you're sure I didn't shout my name at some point like a cartoon character?"

"No!"

"...Hmm." Sip. "Well, I guess introductions are in order. My name is Sam Allen, pleasure to meet you all." Reddy gave a smile.

"My name is Rias Grsmory, and I am the heir to the Gremory house." The newly dubbed Rias gestured to Blacky, Whitey, and Male Blondy, who were standing close to each other. "The one on the far left is my queen, Akeno,"

"Pleasure to meet you. I am in your care." Akeno gave a smile.

"Kiba, my knight." Male Blondy gave a wave and a 'Please take care of me.' and went back to sharpening his sword. Which he didn't have a few moments ago. Huh. "Koneko, my rook." Rias gestured over to Whitey, though she didn't remover her focus from her treats. "Asia, my newly obtained bishop." Asia gave a short bow.

"Thank you for taking care of me!"

"And of course, you know Issei." Browny jumped from his seat and shouted. His hand was clenched in a fist and his eyes had a certain look to them, like an angry fire was behind them.

"I'm going to be the best pawn and kick your ass for everything you put us through!" Sip. Sam would admit, the look Issei was giving him wouldn't look too off of the guy in comic books. Some guy that had to do with America and fought Nazis. Sam never really understood that comic, the guy carried around a shield everywhere and was brightly coloured. That wouldn't fly in actual battle.

Though, he supposed he was a bit biased considering all he had to go off of on the comics were pictures...

Sip.

"Refill please." Sam held out the small tea cup. Akeno quickly filled the cup back up and San went back to slowly sipping hit tea. Sam suddenly stood up and walked to the door, sliding it open. Sip.

"Right. I'm going to go look for a room. See yah later." The blond demigod waved back at the devils behind him. Sip. He closed the door and made his merry way down the near identical hallways, a tea cup in hand and Ciarra, who had escaped the room without Sam noticing.

Sleepy blue eyes slowly blinked open. It was morning, the sunlight filtering through the window cemented that, just about two weeks after he had 'gained' the room in a way. Not much had happened, Sam's newly gained group didn't attend school for a few reasons. Sam, being nineteen, didn't qualify for high school, and even if he did, no one had any doubts that he just wouldn't go anyway. Zekt couldn't go for obvious reasons, being a giant wolf and all. Ciarra didn't want to go, saying something about not wanting to scare people, but Sam couldn't see anything scary about the little caped girl. Shy, he would admit but not scary! Alice wasn't allowed to go for two reasons, one being that she adamantly refused to hide away her purple butterfly wings, something that no one got a clear answer about why she had them, the other reason was that no one really wanted to see what would happen if the mad woman would be provoked to rampage. The only reason Klaus couldn't go was because he just couldn't figure out a way to hide his scales and other draconic features. All in all, Sam's group were voted not to go to school.

But they had stayed busy, mostly with exploring the town(Day time for Sam and Ciarra, and Night time for the rest of the group), getting to know the Gremory group and getting their rooms personalized.

Ciarra had hit it off with Koneko for some reasons that they wouldn't share with everyone else, though it was cute to watch the two quiet girls playfully fight over sweets and having what could only be described as 'cat naps' on Zekt.

Klaus kept to himself mostly, though he did somehow work his way into figuring everyone's finances. How he got people to trust him so quickly with their money, Sam wouldn't be able to guess. The blond wouldn't deny that Klaus was really good at it however.

"I was the accountant for my previous master. All financial problems fell to me. I was the only reason that our group hadn't fallen into debt sooner." Is what he had said.

Alice... Well, Alice liked to hang around the main clubroom, sleeping spread out on couches without a care, raiding the kitchen of snacks and tea, and multiple showers a day. The last thing wouldn't be much of a problem normally, but Alice has this strange vendetta against towels, refuses to use them and seems to have no care for modesty. There have already been multiple instances where Alice had walked into the clubroom naked while club was going on.

"You've all been naked before, this is nothing new." That was her excuse.

Sam had nearly lost count of how many times Issei had nearly died of blood loss.

47, if he counted right.

Other than that, Alice actually got along pretty well with Rias and Akeno. They had long talks about something akin to politics that Sam tuned out, and even some girl talk that Sam always left the room as soon as it started. No way was he getting close to THAT again.

Anyway, this now brings us back to the blond demigod waking up in his bed. Blue eyes blinked multiple times, contemplating weather or not it was worth it to get up that morning. Sam closed his eyes again, and tried to go back to sleep. It wasn't working. Sighing, Sam resigned to his fate and made to get out of bed. He was stopped however, as the door to his room flew open and a large amount of purple energy exploded into the room. The energy shot at the still groggy demigod, picking him up and pulling him out of the room all together. This is also part of the 'normal' that had been going on. Ciarra had taken it upon herself to wake up any late risers for breakfast, saying how no one should miss the most important meal of the day.

Safe to say, Sam was slightly jealous of the Gremory group for not having to deal with the same wakeup call every morning.

The dark energy stole Sam out of his room and released him onto the wooden floor of the building, the blond landing harshly. Groaning, Sam sat up, rubbing his head to ease the pain of hitting the floor.

"...Good to see your up..." The quiet voice of Ciarra said from above.

"Yeah..." Sam grumbled. "I was already awake though."

"...It's nine, you missed your alarm..."

"...Oh hush..."

Sam and Ciarra moved down to another room in the large building. The room was the claimed 'commons room' used by Sam's group. It had four large tables huddled together to make an improv 'super table' in the middle of the room. Zekt and Klaus were already in the room, Zekt sleeping on the table and Klaus doing budgeting of whatever money that Sam managed to secure.

He refuses to explain where he got it from.

Off to the side of the room was another table that had lots of food on it, bagels, cheese, cereal, etcetera etcetera. Acquiring a stable supply of food was one of Sam's and Ciarra's jobs. Next to the table was a small fridge which Sam grabbed a can of soda from. The blond had found that he really liked the red and green cans.

Sam sat down at the table, across from Klaus, and Ciarra climbed on top of Zekt, snuggling into the wolf's fur. "Alright gang, what are we planning for today?" Sam said, opening the soda can and taking a sip.

"Well, with the funds that you managed to scrape up, you can take Ciarra to go see that movie she wanted to see." Klaus said, punching in a few more numbers into his calculator. "Or, we could cut some money from the food and toiletries fund along with not going to the movie, and get a television. Admittedly it wouldn't be the best television, but with some screwing around, I can probably get it to work as a computer too."

"...Movie..." Was Ciarra's immediate answer.

...

"Movie it is."

Klaus nodded at Sam's statement and returned to scratching at his paper. "All right, Movie this week, but you can't keep going to all these movies ya'hear?" Sam waved him off.

"Yeah yeah. I know. Besides, I can't really understand what anyone is saying anyway. Mostly going for Ciarra's sake." Sam gave a smile the shorter blond gave a small glare at the demigod.

"Hey Klaus, we get those adds on Reddy's flyers?" The white haired boy nodded at the question.

"Good, good. Hopefully that'll bring in some income." Sam said. Sip. A few days into the impromptu acquiring of rooms, Sam had figured out that the devils that they shared the building with had relatively stable income. He launched a short investigation, wondering if he could get recounted stuff from wherever the other group works, but he found out that they don't actually work anywhere.

"...I can see you..."

"...Nooooo. I'm invisible..."

He almost got caught once.

The investigation did, however, lead him to discovering the actual source of income for the group, odd jobs through the cult circle that he had found in Browny's wallet. He assumed it worked though magic because the Devil group went to their jobs by teleporting.

Except Browny. He just biked.

...

...

"...So, how's everyone's morning?" Sam started the small talk.

"Good." Klaus responded immediately.

"...Fine..." Was the quick and quiet Ciarra.

Zekt just gave out a low grumble- growl- wolf noise. Zekt gave out a low wolf noise.

...

...

"...Alright, this is getting me nowhere." Sam stood up, can still in his hands. "I'm going exploring, see you guys later."

"Ah, actually." Klaus stopped the blond. "Your meeting with the Underworld officials is right after Ms. Gremory gets out from school, which will be in," He glances at a clock. "...Five hours, give or take." Sam nods. Ciarra jumps off of Zekt and made her way next the the elder blond.

"Ill be back by then, don't worry." Sam waves as he and Ciarra exits the room. "See yah later!"

BOOM

"WAAAAA! This isn't a fun game anymore!"

"Come back here and let me absorb you!"

"Nooo~~ooo! I don't want to play with you anymooo~rree!"

"Stop being such a sore looser!"

BOOM

"WAAAAHHH!"

BOOM

BOOM

CRASH

BOOM

"WAA~AAA!"

"So, what's the haps?"

"Well," Reddy started. She was sitting at her desk, hands interlocked and holding up her chin. Standing to her right was blacky, wands working over the table, bright glowing commuting from her hands. Standing to Reddy's left was another girl with black hair and glasses. To the farthest left was ANOTHER girl, this one being taller than the girl before her, also with black hair and glasses.

"The communication circle should just about be ready. Akeno?" Blacky nodded.

"Hai." The glow under her hands died down, through when she moved her hands away there was still a glowing magic circle, spinning slowly. The light was a shade of blood red, ruined etched in darker red.

"Alright," Reddy gestured to the other standing girls. "I have gotten Sona here to agree to be the moderator to this interaction. To make sure nothing goes astray." The shorter glasses bowed slightly. The blond never really understood the gesture.

"A pleasure."

The resident demigod raised an eyebrow. "Likewise..? Eh." Sam shook of the momentary confusion. "Lets just get this over with." Reddy nodded and the glowing circle on the table glowed brightly as an image appeared.

It was a male and a female, the male being taller than the female. The male had wild hair that looked kind of like a lion, if Sam was to be honest, and he also had on this really formal suit and tie. The woman standing next to him had short cut hair and a-... That was an ogre mask... A really cartoony ogre mask... Ugh, either way, the girl also appeared to be wearing a fancy suit and tie. The demigod couldn't distinguish any colors, the magic circle apparently only working in red and various different shades of blood.

Eh, beggars can't be choosers.

"Greetings." A male voice said, the man's lips moving in time with the words bringing Sam to the assumption that the crazy hologram thing also had audio. "My name is Duke L'Cie Valefor."

"And my name is Courage." A very deep and distorted voice proclaimed.

...

"...Eh..?" Sam tilted his head, completely confused. He had heard a really deep voice, though no mouth had moved. So, either the woman under the mask spoke, or there was something else going on. Lion twitched, giving out an annoyed 'che' and proceeded to slam a fist into Ogre's head, causing her to slam face first into the ground.

"I told you not to do that in important matters such as these!" Lion yelled at the girl.

"Ahaha..." Ogre painfully chuckled out, picking herself up off the ground. The ogre mask was still latched onto her face and the voice was still extremely deep and menacing, though there wasn't any visible strap on the back of her head. Sam quickly assumed it to be magic at work. "You clearly are a brave one. You pass the test." Ogre said, nodding at the end.

"...Am I the only one who is really confused, or... what?" Sam said, glancing around at the different people in the room with a confused look. Most of them didn't look to know what was going on, though the two glasses women, Reddy, and Blacky all looked to be in relative calm.

"I apologize for Rían's behavior, she has a tendency to 'test a person's bravery' during first meetings." He said, rolling his eyes slightly at the explanation. "Truthfully, they aren't very proper when meeting a new person, and I try to refrain her from doing such things," He gestured to Ogre. "But as you can see the result." Lion's voice was full of disdain. Ogre turned her head to Lion and Sam assumed she gave the taller male a glare from under the mask.

"They are very important, first off." Ogre said, reaching up and pulling off the mask. Under the cartoony cover, the girl would probably be considered pretty. A nice face, cat-like eyes and a bunch of freckles over her nose and cheeks.

"No, they aren't." Lion started. "They only lead to misunderstandings and bad first impressions."

"But they give a good sense of character!" Ogre argued back. Her voice seeming to have lightened, going into a higher register.

"They also hav..."

Sam's face adopted a bored look, glancing around the room. He blocked out the arguing going on between the two people on the magic circle , though it looked like most of the rest of the rooms inhabitants stared in a disturbed fascination. Maybe they didn't expect the two to argue like that? Eh, it really isn't that strange. People argue all the time, usually between friends or, couples. Couples argue a lot. Maybe there a couple? Hmm. Further investigation required.

"..am. Sam!"

"Ah?" A voice broke Sam out of his inner monologue, bringing him back to reality. Everyone in the room was looking at him with varying degrees of annoyance. Realizing that he was spacing out, Sam chuckled sheepishly. "Yeah, what?"

Shorter glasses gave a small sigh and pushed her mentioned glasses up her nose. "Now that we seem to have your attention, Lord Valefor and Lady Byleth have begun."

" , yeah, okay." Sam nodded and turned to the small magic projection. "So, what're yah demands?" A smile on the blond's face. The people in the room gave a sweatshop at the bluntness of the demigod.

"W-what demands?" Ogre asked.

"Oh, you know. The usual, money, favors, stuff like that." Sam said while counting off on his fingers. "Stuff I can do to keep you from trying to kill my guys. If it's within my abilities and reason, I shall do it. Allen Fund Guaranteed." The blond said, puffing his chest out in pride.

"It... isn't that simple..." Lion said, both of the two smaller people looking a bit more serious. "Klaus Vasserdrac, Ciarra Cochal, Alice Papillion, and Zekt Pecus have all committed high treason in devil culture. Killing their master and extreme destruction of three castles in their getaway." The blond demigod blinked.

Huh. This might make things a little bit more difficult.

Wait...

"THREE castles?" Sam asked, head tilted to the side in bewilderment. "Really?" Lion and Ogre just nodded. "That... seems a bit excessive..."

"It was." Ogre muttered ominously. "There were hundreds of casualties. High and low class, it didn't really matter when thousands of tons of rock falls on top of you."

"And that isn't all." Lion continued. "All three of those castles belonged to the noble Lord Agares, and their family, or what's left of it, demands blood."

Well.

This was a conundrum.

Now to try to get out of it.

"Well, sorry, but I can't just let my guys get killed by your guys. That would both betray them and have me lose all credibility as a sentient being. I CAN, however, work for compensation." Sam jabs a thumb against his chest. "I take pride in my ability to do odd jobs really well, with a 100% customer satisfaction guaranteed."

Ogre shook her head. "Like L'Cie said, the family demands blood. There really isn't anything you could do to get them to lift the charges." She said.

Well, this could also cause a problem.

"Your absolutely positive that there isn't anything else I could do..?" Sam asked, slightly nervous.

"Unless you could find something remarkable to get the Lord's of Agares, no there really isn't."

"If I may give a suggestion." Oh hey, Reddy decided to speak up. Quick glances were given, and Short Glasses nodded to Reddy for the OK. Reddy nods back, and takes a deep breath. "The Agares have always wanted a certain thing, and said they would pay any price for it." Lion's eyes seemed to widen if only slightly. That seemed ominous, though a suggestion would probably get the blond demigod somewhere.

"You don't mean..."

"I believe Lady Rias is speaking the mythical 'Time Crystals'." Short Glasses added her two cents, which Reddy nodded to.

"Yes. The crystals that are said to be able to fast forward, rewind, freeze and so much more with time." Okay. Still workable, Sam would just have to find out where he could find these 'Time Crystals' and he'd be good.

"But that's insane!" Lion all but yelled. "Those crystals can only be found in the Dead Valley, and those planes haven't been able to be traversed since the abominations moved in!" Well, there's the catch.

"I know." Reddy said, seemingly calm. "But you said for his group to not get the death penalty, he had to do something extreme. Yes?" Lion and Ogre nodded, though reluctantly. "Then all he has to do is something extreme. And this definitely qualifies as extreme."

"Yes but, it would be like sending him off to his death!"

"Would that be any different than just flat out executing them?"

Alright, now they're just ignoring him...

"So," Sam said, clapping his hands and bringing the attention back to him. "Where exactly can I find this 'Death Valley', as you so eloquently put it." Lion looked shocked at the implication that the blond would even consider the idea

"Look... I can't in my right conscious send a man off to their timely death." Lion said.

"Hmmm." Sam hummed, his hands crossed and a disbelieving look on his face. "Right. So where is the 'Death Valley'?" The blond questioned again.

Why were they staring at him like that? He was asking a legitimate question! And what was with that look on Ogre!?

"...Ughh..." Lion sighed into his hand. "Nothing I say can stop you, can it?" Sam responded with a shrug. "Right... Lady Gremory, I trust you'll give him directions?" Reddy nodded in confirmation. Well now that that's settled.

"All right. The time crystals will be delivered to you in one week's time. This is the promise given to you by the Allen Quest Fund." Sam said. A look of recognition dawns over Ogre's face. Hmm, seems that Sam's reputation exceeded him.

"Wait, you're-!"

"TRANSMISSION OUT!" He yelled and slamming his hand down on the red light projection.

...

...

...

The transmission didn't end. The blond was sweating bullet at the situation, his exit was ruined! New exit! New exit!

There!

The blond demigod wasted not time, grabbing one of the nearby chair.

"OBVIOUS DISTRACTION!"

And threw the chair at a far wall, causing the people in the room to duck and cover on reflex. The chair exploded into a bunch of pieces over Browny causing him to help in surprise. Good, everyone was distracted. Sam pivoted on his heel and proceeded to jump out the window.

Or, well, THROUGH the window. He forgot it was still closed.

 **Good? Bad? Some weird extreme?**

 **ANyway, here is the section where I decide I need to be a review who're. Your words give me will to write! Really! Please, I need reviews for more than just a 'nice' or something of that ilk! I seriously need feedback on my work, or else it won't ever get any better! So, please! For me and for you, give comments and corrections on things I missed to help me write better so you don't have to sit through a Cluster fuck that is my writing.**

 **Also, I ramble. I'm ending my ramble now.**


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